Every time I hear the words ‘you are a strong woman’
A stupid smile that doesn’t know whether to be proud or ashamed
Is being a ‘strong woman’ a compliment?
How does one become strong? With exercise?
Does your soul flex its muscles and proclaim it’s strength?
Do you get strong from pushing your mind and heart and soul to the limit..and holding back just before they collapse? And then repeat it all again?
Does the stretching and breaking and pulling apart build its tensile strength on the veneer of your womanliness?
Because I don’t feel strong
I don’t feel strong from being broken over and over and over again
I don’t feel strong from the recovery and the healing
Healing does not make you whole again
You are still broken, just glued back better together
Re-formed into a shape distorted into another dimension
Another dimension of reality
Maybe that’s where I am ‘strong’!
All I feel is tired, not strong
Does picking up the broken pieces make you strong?
I would much rather sweep them off and be done with them, once and for all
Rather than bleed on the jagged edges
And yet, here I am …
Wearing my bandages like shields…
A woman, that too strong.