Darkness and Dreams

I plunge into the depths of darkness

and close my eyes

Its embrace, familiar

Familiar pain, familiar comfort, familiar numbness

Is it how it’s going to end then?

No, it’s how it’s going to go on

The descent, the desire to end, the desire to be

The make-believe climb towards the make-believe light

The forever balancing act on the tightrope of reality. Or dreams.

Dreams. Let them take me in their swirls of psychedelic colours and lift me into a world of smiles and beauty and decorum and sanity, of a world that almost makes sense

But for now, it’s the deafening racket of chaos

The mad dance of shackles and stripped hopes

The chase towards every flicker, exhausting.

For now, all I need is the darkness to float in

All I need is silence.