But I Don't Want…


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But, I don’t want to rewind!

Why do the memories haunt me?

Why do the faces flash before my eyes?

Neither I can get them back, nor do I wish to!

Some stings still lie fresh,

Like the hot molten wax from the dying candle

The unhealed wounds, the sleepless nights

The woebegone me abhors this cesspool!

Maybe looking back in anger

But that is what I can do

For, I know not how to treat it

With garlands or wreaths!

This loathsome snobbish past

I won’t let it carry all the credit

Although I do admit its contribution,

Yet I can’t permit it to take the limelight.

Mistakes and failures I’ve made

Remind me not of them, but

How I’ve survived them and am still alive

How the realisation dawned and I’ve accepted them!

I don’t look forward as well

For its scary, giving me jolts!

Hoping to patch up the dreary past as well

The gift of the present lying still unwrapped

Now is the time to open and relish it!

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Amrita Mallik

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